It is about letting go the baggage of the past healing olds wounds, and learning how not to recreate these painful patterns in your present. It is about learning to nurture yourself through self-forgiveness.It is about letting God in your life and learning to reach out for love. Based on the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12 Steps to Self-Parenting, provided for you above, is about granting yourself a second change to parent the child within. The promise of self-parenting is that you will be able to live in the present and leave the past behind and learn to unconditionally love yourself. Self-Parenting is about freeing you inner child and releasing the voice of your Higher Parent, about accepting and nurturing yourself. Or due to their compulsive dependency, they will turn to other things in their search for completeness, such as overeating, compulsive sexual activity, compulsive spending, or working excessively, all in an attempt to be filled up. The compulsively dependent self that emerges is often controlling and needing to rescue others, or in turn to be rescued by them. The voice of the Higher Parent is silenced for fear that it will rock the family’s precarious boat, resulting in rejection. With compulsive dependency, our inner child is locked away for fear that her spontaneity will cause embarrassment, humiliation or worse, overwhelming pain. And when traumatized, your inner child, deprived of the wisdom of your Higher Parent, may develop defenses that result in what we a compulsively dependent and what other call a co-dependent orientation to the world. Living in an abusive family can traumatize the vulnerable cores of your being. It is the transcendent part of yourself, a direct channel to your Higher Power. Your higher Parent is the part of you unaffected by your ego or your feelings. This is also the part of you who protects your inner child. This is your problem-solving self, the part of you that will in healthy families gently and lovingly guide your inner child. It is the part of yourself that feels your pain, that needs love and support and feels hopeless without it.Your Higher Parent is the center of your inner wisdom, your intuitive knowledge. It is the part of you which is exquisitely alive, vital, creative and from which you draw your energy.
Your inner child is the center of your love, your feelings, your spontaneity, your curiosity.
Having had this spiritual awakening, we reached out to others in the spirit of giving, love and community.Įach of us is composed of two vital selves, an inner child and a Higher Parent. Practiced daily self-acceptance and learned to live in the present.Īllowed the divinity in us to shine forth by surrendering to our Higher Power. Healed our inner child by realizing the promises of self-parenting in our daily life. Learned self-forgiveness and made amends to our inner child. Learned to embrace our uniqueness and connectedness to others in a spirit of love and humility. Learned to share our self-parenting issues with others without self-recrimination or shame.īecome ready to change by giving up the demand to be perfect. Made an honest assessment of our strengths and weaknesses and accepted the impact our childhood had had upon us as adults.
Learned to let go of compulsive self-reliance by reaching out to our Higher Parent. Step 1Īdmitted our powerlessness to change our past - that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.įind hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the fact that we are never really alone. There are a variety of specialized retreats available, such as “Self-Parenting for the Helping Professional.” We look forward to seeing you there. Or better yet, contact us to conduct a retreat for you. and Philip Diaz, M.S.W.įor more information on Self-Parenting and how you can begin your total process of recovery read 12 Steps to Self-Parenting, available from , along with the 12 Steps to Self-Parenting Workbook … and attend one of our seminars or self-parenting retreats.
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